May 23, 1999
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Life is boring. What can I say folks, everyday is the same old routine. We wake up in the morning, brush our teeth (well at least most of us), eat some breakfast, and we're off to brave the terrible morning traffic. And then we work around 8 or so hours and brave the afternoon traffic again, get home, eat dinner and go to sleep. Like what I said folks - bo--ring.
But there's one haven for all of us - me in particular. And that's TV. Not just ordinary TV, mind you, but nerve-wracking, fist-clenching, heart-pounding, knee-jerking, tear-jerking (why do they call it tear-jerking anyway? Tears aren't jerked. And who are you calling a jerk?), breath-taking, rip-roaring (rip-roaring? What the hell is rip-roaring?), hip-slapping, mind-boggling cartoons. Yep, you heard me - cartoons. I like cartoons. No-correct that, I love cartoons. There is nothing better after a tired, boring day at work than a few hours spent in front of the TV watching cartoons.
And, speaking of cartoons, there's something that's been bothering me about cartoons. Do you guys ever realize that we never see cartoon characters do normal stuff? I mean, do they all live these exciting lives where they're always hunting down bad guys, getting chased by rabid dogs and monsters, eating carrots, and blowing each other up all the time? I mean, when do they go to the bathroom to relieve themselves? Show me that in a cartoon, huh!
Okay, okay, maybe I don't really want to see Mickey emptying his Mickey, but what about other normal stuff - like a haircut, for instance - have you ever seen a cartoon character - maybe someone like Goofy, ever have a haircut? I sincerely doubt it. But does their hair ever grow long? NO! So where do they get haircuts? Do they automatically just stay short?
So while I was pondering this mystery of life, I came upon this store and suddenly, in one swift moment, the answer dawned on me. I have found the answer. The Answer!!! The answer to one of life's greatest mysteries! The answer to none other than the question - where does Goofy have his hair cut? Hooray! Hooray! Hmmm...by the way, does Goofy have any hair anyway?