June 20, 1999
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Step right up folks, step right up! Yessiree, hidden in Alabang Zapote road is the most amazing, most fantastic, most amazing, most marvelous, (did I say amazing?), and most of all, most amazing store in the whole wide world! Well maybe that was an exaggeration. Okay, okay, it's not the most amazing store in the whole wide world. I mean, give me a break! I have an artistic license! (I think.)
So what's so amazing about this week's store? (Bet you can hardly keep your excitement, ey? Bet you're wetting your pants already, ey? You're not, ey? I'll shut up then ey?) Well, the food is actually pretty normal. What gets you is when the waitresses need to clean your table - they don't - the food just simply disappears! Waittaminute - can you say that again? Okay, the food just simply disappears! Yes folks, one second they're there, and the next they aren't! Isn't that really amazing? And holding on to your food won't help. You'll suddenly see your food vanish before your eyes faster than you can she sells seashells by the seashore! (Believe me, I tried. Wanna hear? She sells by shea...oh dammit!)
So what else disappears? You got it - your money. (No, not because they have amazingly high prices) It's magic - Even without taking it out of your wallet, the exact amount of your bill will be deducted from your wallet! (Warning: This has caused some problems, specially among the people who put their wallets inside their underwear.) But then, this actually solves the problem when you go out to eat in groups, you don't need to figure out who pays for what and how much. Isn't that totally mind-bogglingly amazing?!! (Just make sure they don't see you getting your money from your underwear. You'll make less friends that way.)
So how would you name this fantastically, amazing, magical store? What else, Foodini! (It's a pun on Houdini for you slow folks out there.) Hello? You don't know who Houdini is? Well, Houdini was this magician dude that some say was the greatest magician that ever lived. And that ends our history lesson for today. Check out the store and happy disappearing food and money-eating!